Sunday, April 25, 2010
Momma and Mitchell, the youngest, maybe a month after his birth
What is God's plan for me and my family, I wonder? My children bring me so much joy everyday that it literally humbles me, keeps me captivated by the fragile nature of life and how precious it is. Honestly, if I could have 20 kids I would!
I have recently been led to fully intrust God with our fertility with the premise being, we must be wise with our resources and such, but God will not let his children go hungry. We just have to have faith. If I told anyone in real life how I felt, well, you could imagine! Mike isn't really against it although I feel his faith could use some strengthening. I am not pushing him though, I brought up how I felt a bit ago and that will be it. Ball's in his court, so to speak :)
Family and friends think it's really horrifying that we have this notion of having more children then the status quo. And I ask, why are they so concerned? It really makes me sad that children are looked at as such a burden, a nuisance. My parents worry about us affording them. How will we acquire the mcmansion and nice shiny benz's when we have all these kids to feed *insert eye roll here*! They're saddened that I have no desire to aquire these things, that I don't care about being "successful" according to society's standards. If it comes down to having many children or having fancy material possessions, well then that's easy. Let that be the hardest choice I have to make in life! I rather measure my success by being the best wife and mother I can be, although I'm saddened to say that this is not an acollade or achievement or position many desire, pursue or envy these days.
P.S. In the eye of my mind, I think between five and eight children is what I desire, but ultimately, it is in God's hands. Perhaps 3 is all God will give us, who knows?! All I know is God's driving and there's no GPS to sneak a peek at! Open road as far as the eye can see :)